Administration Approves ‘Keystone Light XL’ Pipeline to Deliver Low Quality Beer to Fraternities
Under new administration, the Keystone XL pipeline has been seeking new ownership after deals with the US government fell through. Excitingly, this came with...
Amidst Controversy, WPI Plans to Release “Tech Quran”
WPI is chock-full of time-honored traditions. One such tradition takes place during new student orientation, where each freshman receives a ‘Tech Bible.’ The WPI...
Foisie Name Stripped, But Digital Consciousness Remains
Many students were shocked today to see the face of WPI donor Robert Foisie on the propaganda screen of the Innovation...
WPI Contemplates Move to ½-Ply
Citing economical reasons, administrators announced this past week that they are considering replacing the already-brutal 1-ply toilet paper in all residence halls and academic...
COVID Testing Proctors Replaced with Inflatable Tube Men
Citing budget cuts and a realization that it was the easiest job in the world, WPI has begun replacing covid test administrators with large...
