A9 Says Switching to Skittles the Breakthrough They Need


Following a string of panic attacks and pepper sprays to the face, sources reported that anonymous spirit organization, Animus Novem (A9), is looking to reboot their strategy before C term finals week.

“All these years, we’ve just been blindly reliant on peanut butter cups and Snickers to get our school spirit initiative going,” explained an A9 spokesperson using a robotic voice translator to conceal his or her identity.

“The issue has been right before our eyes this whole time!” said another A9 member, removing her demonic jester mask. “The candy was totally the wrong type!!” she exclaimed, as a small child cowered in a nearby tour group.

“The colorfulness of the Skittles will remind the students of the spirit of the school,” explained another A9 member, half-heartedly pumping his fist in the air, as the group was politely escorted out of the library by Campus Police.

At press time, the group was seen pointing squirt guns at a 7-Eleven cashier and demanding all the Skittles in the store.