On Sunday, April 8th, students witnessed the return of the second most important publication at WPI. Outlook inboxes pinged triumphantly with the arrival of the first “Weekly Campus Events” email in over 8 months.
The familiar flood of “Come to this super niche event held by our super niche club at this super inconvenient time!” rushed back to campus inboxes once again.
“Oh, and our event raises money for childhood rabies! If you don’t come buy our overpriced food you must hate children! :),” read the event listings, as students regained awareness of all the exciting programming they didn’t have time or interest to attend.
While the ignorant masses blamed the 8 month hiatus on the switch to CampusLabs, in the depths of WPI cyberspace, a secret war was waging on.
At approximately 10:21 PM local time, WPI IT Services finally succeeded in creating a hole in the massive wall of spam emails about athletic updates, RBE colloquium speakers, and Frisbee alias unsubscribe requests.
“All that spam gunk forms this barrier with a consistency not unlike concrete,” explained an exhausted, dust covered IT staff member, pickaxe in hand. “Turns out those campus events emails have just been stuck back there this whole time.”
“We were finally able to push one of those suckers through,” grunted another unsung IT hero, delivering a hefty blow to a pesky quarantined message notification. “And we’re not planning to stop until all clubs have an opportunity to let their message out.”
At press time, the weekly events emails were seen slamming into Clutter folders everywhere.
