The Institute Investigates: The George C. Gordon Saunas

A Sauna in Munich

Following a slew of student complaints about the scorching temperature of WPI’s George C. Gordon library, administration has announced a new direction for the dreadfully hot building. The Institute reached out to the director of the library to find out more about the upcoming changes.

“This is absurd,” said a WPI senior. I barely have time to open my laptop before the first drop of sweat hits the desk.”

“Students have been whining for years that the library temperature is out of control. Enough is enough,” said The Director. “I used to tell everyone that because this old building is steam heated it’s simply not economical to lower the temperature. To be blatantly honest, I’ve been here for 15 years and for the life of me I just can’t figure out where the thermostat is. ”

The Director says WPI will soon begin converting all 11 library Tech Suites to what it is calling “Tech Saunas.” “We figured that since we’ve got all this excess heat, we might as well put it to work,” he remarked.

The new saunas will still accommodate up to 8 people and will feature water-sealed versions of all the existing Tech Suite equipment. “50 inch plasmas, dedicated PC’s and whiteboards –It’s all still here, just in a much more relaxing, stress-free environment,” said The Director.

The director went on to explain the versatility and health benefits of the new Tech Saunas. “There’s really nothing like relaxing your muscles and flushing toxins from your skin while you work. Whether you’ve come here to speed write that ID 2050 paper that’s due in an hour, or just bang your head on the wall and ask why the hell you thought ECE sounded like a ‘fun major’, the new Tech Saunas have got you covered.”

The new renovation is scheduled to begin over C / D term break. Students will be able to reserve Tech Saunas beginning the first week of D-Term. Towels will be available for rent at the front desk using Goat Bucks. The director says this is not the only stress-reducing measure coming to WPI. Chartwells is reportedly in the early stages of adding massage chair cubicles to The Spoon to provide a stress free eating zone for those who feel too overwhelmed by the social encounters of DAKA.

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