Vegans Outraged Over Animal-Themed Greek Week


Saying that it is cruel and manipulative to dedicate a week to demeaning animals, vegan students at WPI have a beef with the this year’s “Animal Kingdom” Greek Week theme, sources reported Friday.

The Institute caught up with the students to get down to the meat of the issue.

Some outraged vegans are taking to social media to express distaste. “Is this a sick joke? How would it make you feel if an elephant got up on stage and sang a human-themed Alma Mater song? #thatswhatithought,” said Twitter user quinoaqueen48.

“I heard they even have a “Predator” game where you pretend to assassinate other players. How can anyone with a conscience play a game like that during an animal-themed week,” remarked local sophomore Marcus Fesler as he sipped noisily on a kale and chia seed smoothie. “Obviously these people have never seen ‘Food Inc.’”

Other students echoed the sentiment: “How am I supposed to convince others of my moral superiority if I go to a school that condones the use of exotic jungle animals for their entertainment value?”

After demanding to know if anyone consulted the animals themselves, junior Tim Gobble intends to protest the talent show by painting blood on himself and lying still in a giant meat package, this coming Saturday.

According to reports, other students feel that the protesters are going over the top.

“I didn’t even know we had vegans at this school, what the heck do they eat in DAKA?” senior Garret Hemson questioned.

“I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get this week set up,” said Brenda Frietas, a pescetarian and one of the organizers of the week. “We just can’t please everyone. We have bigger fish to fry.”

According to some sources, the Greek Week Committee will be teaming up with P.A.W.S. to implement meat-free zones which will be stocked with almond milk, tofu, and spinach chips for all events moving forward.

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  1. yes, vegans are the self righteous egotistically ones. thats why you feel the need to criticize this school and people for the stupidest things. maybe you could climb off your high horse and join us 😉