RBE Major Seeks Love at Beam Signing Ceremony


Sources reported Thursday that senior Robotics Engineering major, Tanner Brink, attended the Innovation Studio’s Beam Signing and Topping Off Ceremony in the hope of finding true love. While most students in attendance excitedly signed their names, class years, or affiliations on the ceremonial steel beam, Brink had other plans.

Amidst a sea of trustees and fellow students, Brink reportedly signed not only his name, but also his phone number, Tinder and Bumble profiles, and a brief ranking of his favorite servo motors, in hopes of finding that special someone. Brink, a perpetually single undergrad, has tried it all when it comes to landing that perfect date, but he hasn’t given up hope just yet.

“This beam signing is the perfect opportunity to meet girls, and it takes out all pesky social interaction,” says Brink. “Years from now, I’m going to get the call, and I just know she’ll be the one. This event is a dream come true.”

In keeping with ancient Scandinavian tradition, workers affixed a Christmas tree to the beam to appease the tree spirits which run rampant in Worcester. At press time, Brink was seen uttering an ancient Nordic love prayer for good measure.

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