Second Semester CA Faces Existential Crisis


WORCESTER, MA – Current roommates reported earlier this week that local WPI student Ashley Stone has been grappling with the tough realization that she must return to life as an everyday WPI student now that her time as a Community Advisor has come to an end.

“I only saw her leave the room once last week,” reported her roommate, worriedly. “She’s just been caressing her visor and binge watching past recordings of ‘Can We Talk?’ I’ve started sliding roast beef sandwiches under her door. Just in case.”

Stone, who reportedly had “the best floor ever oh my god” says being a CA ranks as one of the top experiences of her life, second only to being accepted as a CA. Close friends confirmed that she had already scheduled 2 floor reunions into her Outlook calendar by the third day of NSO, and has been prone to sudden tearful outburst of “MY KIDS!” ever since the conclusion of B Term.

“It all just seems so meaningless,” remarked Stone, scrolling wistfully through her old CA GroupMe. “Life is really just one big floor program after another. Eventually each one ends and suddenly you’re ‘still here, I see’ and ‘need to start making friends in your own year.’”

At press time, Stone was seen rocking back and forth whispering to herself, “There’s more to life than Insight. There’s more to life than Insight.”

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