This week, The Student Waivers Office (SWO) announced its newest fun-filled campus event: Waiver Fest 2k17, which will be ‘duly executed’ on the quadrangle following close of business on the sixth Friday of WPI’s first academic quarter.
“Liability is really top-of-mind right now at Waiver Polytechnic Institute, so this year we wanted to celebrate that spirit of compliance with an all new event,” said Kathy Bowman, Student Waiver Coordinator. “We’ll have plenty of waivers to sign that will give you access to free Life Savers candy and inflatable obstacle courses–in full bomb-proof safety suits of course!”
WPI’s vibrant campus provides students with over 200 different opportunities to get involved with signing waivers. Whether you’re riding buses to a rush event across the street, or simply running up the stairs in Stratton Hall just a tad too fast, the waiver-ific possibilities are seemingly endless.
“At the end of the day, it’s really about what’s best for the potential plaintiffs––errrrr the student body, heh,” remarked Saul Badman, Chief Attorney. “We’re just trying to create a safe, enjoyable, and safe college experience for ‘students,’ hereinafter defined in section 2.13b.96xyz of the Student Code of Conduct.”
The SWO would like to remind students of the other annual waiver-filled opportunities at WPI: The Freshman-Sophomore Waiver Pull, The Earl Bridge Waiver Signing, Waivers for Life, and the fan-favorite Waiver-Melon Bash.
“We’re gonna have so many awesome waivers this year, you’re going to say, ‘Please, no more awesome waivers!’ That’s the beauty of our new focus on risk management!” said Badman with a smile. “So what are you waiting for? Get out there and reduce your alma mater’s liability for your stupid actions!”