Amidst Controversy, WPI Plans to Release “Tech Quran”


WPI is chock-full of time-honored traditions. One such tradition takes place during new student orientation, where each freshman receives a ‘Tech Bible.’ The WPI Tech Bible has been around for more than 100 years and serves as an introduction for incoming freshmen to WPI’s heritage, traditions, and history.

Over time, this Great Tech School has grown and taken on some of the best and brightest minds of our era. There is no thought of religious beliefs, ethnicity, or culture when admitting students, as long as they are technically savvy and willing to write fat checks.

Unfortunately, many students have recently been questioning the title ‘Tech Bible.’ The controversy has picked up like wild fire and, although the manual has no significant religious undertones, students have begun protesting its “prejudice and cultural insensitivity.”

“Why are we only showing our school’s history and traditions to followers of Jesus Christ?” an alarmed student asked. “Shouldn’t we tailoring this non-religious book towards people of all beliefs and backgrounds?”

Immediately, the administration recognized the controversy and began taking measures to combat this partiality. “It is time for us to move into the 21st century,” administrators said in a series of official Tweets last week. “The term ‘Bible’ does not sit right with many people. As a result, we have suspended all other campus improvement activities for the foreseeable future and will focus on naming alternative versions of the book so that our community will once again appear welcoming to students of all beliefs. #WPIcares #goats.”

The Institute caught up with some of the individuals on campus who have been marginalized by the book title. “Hmm honestly, I never even thought twice about the name,” said one student. “Yeah, I can’t say I was offended at all, but if it’ll make the rest of campus feel better then I guess I’m all for it,” said another.

The administration has said it will be releasing the WPI Tech Quran within the year. It will then begin work on the WPI Tech Tanakh and On the Origin of Tech, to ensure that followers of Judaism and atheists alike will also feel welcome in the community. “We won’t stop until everyone feels included,” said the administration –clearly a great victory for the WPI community.

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  1. Is this a satire piece? This is just silly.

    I understand how people may see the use of the term “bible” as having religious connotation, but a simple google search of the definition of the word shows that it can be and is used informally to denote “any authoritative book,” its synonyms including “handbook,” “manual,” “guide,” etc. “Quran” does not share this definition and exclusively carries a religious connotation; as such the “Tech Quran” and further iterations will now hold religious undertones where it had not previously.

    Furthermore, where does this stop? There are upwards of 15 major religions around the globe, does this mean that the administration plans to create a version of the Tech Bible for every possible religion just satisfy people who jump to conclusions by quite literally judging a book by its cover? Perhaps before getting offended and screaming “insensitivity!” students should take a step back and think about topic at hand.