Administration Preps for Accepted Students, Orders Facilities to Neglect Places Tour Groups Won’t See

Spring is in the air. For WPI, this means two things: a slightly decreased sense of student misery and a vast increase in potential...

Foisie Innovation Studio Plans Unveiled, Just Robotics Lab with Beds

The great institution of WPI was the first school in the nation to offer a bachelor’s degree program in Robotics Engineering. Needless to say,...

The Institute Investigates: The George C. Gordon Saunas

Following a slew of student complaints about the scorching temperature of WPI’s George C. Gordon library, administration has announced a new direction for the...

Foisie Name Stripped, But Digital Consciousness Remains

Many students were shocked today to see the face of WPI donor Robert Foisie on the propaganda screen of the Innovation...

WPI Contemplates Move to ½-Ply

Citing economical reasons, administrators announced this past week that they are considering replacing the already-brutal 1-ply toilet paper in all residence halls and academic...

Amidst Controversy, WPI Plans to Release “Tech Quran”

WPI is chock-full of time-honored traditions. One such tradition takes place during new student orientation, where each freshman receives a ‘Tech Bible.’ The WPI...

“Foisie’s Open Floor Plan Perfect For Closing Large Sections Off” Says WPI Administration

In last Monday’s press release, WPI administration clarified that the I&E room in Foisie Innovation Studio will be closed to the public starting on...

Greasy Pretzels, Sticky Fingers to Top off $49 Million Innovation Studio

Despite pesky student feedback requesting, “a 21st century restaurant” and “literally anything that doesn’t make me gassy,” WPI is moving forward with bold plans...

Uptick in COVID Cases Results in “Gulag” Battles at Townhouses

Due to student body confusion surrounding the message of “don’t leave campus” over WPI’s abbreviated spring break, there has been an increase...

Administration Approves ‘Keystone Light XL’ Pipeline to Deliver Low Quality Beer to Fraternities

Under new administration, the Keystone XL pipeline has been seeking new ownership after deals with the US government fell through. Excitingly, this came with...