WPI Contemplates Move to ½-Ply

Citing economical reasons, administrators announced this past week that they are considering replacing the already-brutal 1-ply toilet paper in all residence halls and academic...

COVID Testing Proctors Replaced with Inflatable Tube Men

Citing budget cuts and a realization that it was the easiest job in the world, WPI has begun replacing covid test administrators with large...
Excavator drops MQP reports into an open pit

Huge Pit Reopened, Marking Annual Burial of MQP Reports

Excavators were spotted in a blaze of mechanical fury early Monday morning by Atwater Kent¹. As any WPI veteran will tell you,...

The Institute Investigates: The George C. Gordon Saunas

Following a slew of student complaints about the scorching temperature of WPI’s George C. Gordon library, administration has announced a new direction for the...

Foisie Innovation Studio Plans Unveiled, Just Robotics Lab with Beds

The great institution of WPI was the first school in the nation to offer a bachelor’s degree program in Robotics Engineering. Needless to say,...

Administration Preps for Accepted Students, Orders Facilities to Neglect Places Tour Groups Won’t See

Spring is in the air. For WPI, this means two things: a slightly decreased sense of student misery and a vast increase in potential...

Uptick in COVID Cases Results in “Gulag” Battles at Townhouses

Due to student body confusion surrounding the message of “don’t leave campus” over WPI’s abbreviated spring break, there has been an increase...

WPI Waiver Fest 2k17: Safe, Legal, and with Just a Hint of Fun!

This week, The Student Waivers Office (SWO) announced its newest fun-filled campus event: Waiver Fest 2k17, which will be ‘duly executed’ on the quadrangle...

HoverBoards Deemed Too Risky for School’s Overwhelming Unathletic Population

This past Tuesday the administration released a memo restricting the use and storage of hoverboards in residence halls and dining halls. The memo came...

Amidst Controversy, WPI Plans to Release “Tech Quran”

WPI is chock-full of time-honored traditions. One such tradition takes place during new student orientation, where each freshman receives a ‘Tech Bible.’ The WPI...