Amidst Controversy, WPI Plans to Release “Tech Quran”
WPI is chock-full of time-honored traditions. One such tradition takes place during new student orientation, where each freshman receives a ‘Tech Bible.’ The WPI...
WPI Greek Life Bans Solo Cups From All Fraternities
After reports surfaced over the weekend of a single Natural Light beer being poured into a solo cup somewhere on campus, the administration’s top...
The Institute Investigates: The George C. Gordon Saunas
Following a slew of student complaints about the scorching temperature of WPI’s George C. Gordon library, administration has announced a new direction for the...
Uptick in COVID Cases Results in “Gulag” Battles at Townhouses
Due to student body confusion surrounding the message of “don’t leave campus” over WPI’s abbreviated spring break, there has been an increase...
Administration Approves ‘Keystone Light XL’ Pipeline to Deliver Low Quality Beer to Fraternities
Under new administration, the Keystone XL pipeline has been seeking new ownership after deals with the US government fell through. Excitingly, this came with...
COVID Testing Proctors Replaced with Inflatable Tube Men
Citing budget cuts and a realization that it was the easiest job in the world, WPI has begun replacing covid test administrators with large...
Foisie Name Stripped, But Digital Consciousness Remains
Many students were shocked today to see the face of WPI donor Robert Foisie on the propaganda screen of the Innovation...
WPI Contemplates Move to ½-Ply
Citing economical reasons, administrators announced this past week that they are considering replacing the already-brutal 1-ply toilet paper in all residence halls and academic...
Administration Preps for Accepted Students, Orders Facilities to Neglect Places Tour Groups Won’t See
Spring is in the air. For WPI, this means two things: a slightly decreased sense of student misery and a vast increase in potential...
“Foisie’s Open Floor Plan Perfect For Closing Large Sections Off” Says WPI Administration
In last Monday’s press release, WPI administration clarified that the I&E room in Foisie Innovation Studio will be closed to the public starting on...
