WPI Mom Rejoices that Son “Basically Invented” Heart Tissue
After news of a WPI scientific breakthrough flooded the internet earlier this week, local Worcester resident Barbara Baker quickly took to Facebook to share...
BREAKING NOW: WPI Unveils Foisie Innovation Waterpark
WORCESTER, MA - In an unexpected development, reports are surfacing that WPI has just unveiled its latest capital improvement project. Workers on-site appeased anxious student onlookers, saying...
RBE Major Seeks Love at Beam Signing Ceremony
Sources reported Thursday that senior Robotics Engineering major, Tanner Brink, attended the Innovation Studio’s Beam Signing and Topping Off Ceremony in the hope of finding true...
Sign the Petition: “Pokemon Go for Fitness” Gym Class
Because an unfortunate majority of our readers are now battling life-threatening addictions to a Japanese video game reboot, The Institute has decided to be...
Valentine’s Dating Guide
It’s been quite the year. Being stuck inside surrounded by popcorn bowls as Netflix asks if you’re ‘still watching’ for days on end has...
Squirrels Launch ‘Occupy West Street’ Movement; Tensions Rise
WORCESTER, MA – Rising tension in the campus squirrel communities finally reached a breaking point this afternoon as protests erupted across West Street. “Occupy...
Card-Spinning CC Cashier Draws Thousands, Increases WPI Revenue 300%
Picture this. You’re about to purchase a burrito bowl from WPI’s world-class campus center cafe. As you’re drenching your meal in Siracha you look...
COVID Testing Proctors Replaced with Inflatable Tube Men
Citing budget cuts and a realization that it was the easiest job in the world, WPI has begun replacing covid test administrators with large...
Jug Club Exposed: Who Are They and Why Are They so Hydrated?
Simultaneously fashionable and functional, the gallon water jug is perfect for your average buff dude on the go. Before the jug, dehydration prevailed, its...
Freshman Attends Plant Parenthood Looking For Contraceptives
Recently The Institute has received multiple reports of mass confusion at the WPI Campus Event: Plant Parenthood. While the majority of students were extremely...
