WPI Student Realizes He Is Simply Not Cool Enough for Spring Break

After vacationing in Cancún this past week, WPI student Greg Johnson reported that he had come to the conclusion that he simply is not...

A9 Says Switching to Skittles the Breakthrough They Need

Following a string of panic attacks and pepper sprays to the face, sources reported that anonymous spirit organization, Animus Novem (A9), is looking to...

Foisie Innovation Studio Plans Unveiled, Just Robotics Lab with Beds

The great institution of WPI was the first school in the nation to offer a bachelor’s degree program in Robotics Engineering. Needless to say,...

First Friday Night to Follow Sunday Schedule

As WPI’s revolutionary seven week term system gets started, the administration has announced that Friday night, August 25th, will operate on a Sunday schedule....

HoverBoards Deemed Too Risky for School’s Overwhelming Unathletic Population

This past Tuesday the administration released a memo restricting the use and storage of hoverboards in residence halls and dining halls. The memo came...

Post-Cancún Blizzard Leaves Seniors “Literally Dying”

This past week, WPI seniors finally lived out their MTV-inspired spring breaks and returned to Worcester for their final D Term. However, rather than...

Introducing SNAP X Premium Shuttles; Sleek, Luxurious, Still Not on Time

As part of an exciting new initiative to suck less during the 2017-2018 academic year, WPI’s SNAP transportation service has unveiled its new premium...

Lone Asshole Takes Up Entire Table Meant for Six

At approximately 3PM local time, sources reported that WPI sophomore Jerry Thompson walked right past the desks designed for individual use, and sat himself...

Campus Events Email Stuck for 8 Months; Finally Sends

On Sunday, April 8th, students witnessed the return of the second most important publication at WPI. Outlook inboxes pinged triumphantly with the arrival of...

Students Sit in Gym For 12 Hours to Raise Money for CEO’s Mansion

The campus bustles as students, faculty, and staff prepare for another year of Relay for Life, taking place in the Recreation Center this upcoming...