RECRUITMENT SURVIVAL KIT: NOW ONLY $19.99
It’s that special time of year again, a time full of sisterhood, opportunity, and a whole lot of judging in the ‘mutual selection process’...
BREAKING NOW: WPI Unveils Foisie Innovation Waterpark
WORCESTER, MA - In an unexpected development, reports are surfacing that WPI has just unveiled its latest capital improvement project. Workers on-site appeased anxious student onlookers, saying...
Freshman Attends Plant Parenthood Looking For Contraceptives
Recently The Institute has received multiple reports of mass confusion at the WPI Campus Event: Plant Parenthood. While the majority of students were extremely...
WPI Student Realizes He Is Simply Not Cool Enough for Spring Break
After vacationing in Cancún this past week, WPI student Greg Johnson reported that he had come to the conclusion that he simply is not...
Due to Lack of Submissions, SGA Changes Competition to 10,000 $1 Ideas
This past week, the Student Government Association announced the second annual “$10,000 Idea Competition”. The competition encourages students to submit a plan for a...
Squirrels Launch ‘Occupy West Street’ Movement; Tensions Rise
WORCESTER, MA – Rising tension in the campus squirrel communities finally reached a breaking point this afternoon as protests erupted across West Street. “Occupy...
WPI Waiver Fest 2k17: Safe, Legal, and with Just a Hint of Fun!
This week, The Student Waivers Office (SWO) announced its newest fun-filled campus event: Waiver Fest 2k17, which will be ‘duly executed’ on the quadrangle...
Uptick in COVID Cases Results in “Gulag” Battles at Townhouses
Due to student body confusion surrounding the message of “don’t leave campus” over WPI’s abbreviated spring break, there has been an increase...
COVID Testing Proctors Replaced with Inflatable Tube Men
Citing budget cuts and a realization that it was the easiest job in the world, WPI has begun replacing covid test administrators with large...
Valentine’s Dating Guide
It’s been quite the year. Being stuck inside surrounded by popcorn bowls as Netflix asks if you’re ‘still watching’ for days on end has...
