Lone Asshole Takes Up Entire Table Meant for Six

At approximately 3PM local time, sources reported that WPI sophomore Jerry Thompson walked right past the desks designed for individual use, and sat himself...

Freshman Attends Plant Parenthood Looking For Contraceptives

Recently The Institute has received multiple reports of mass confusion at the WPI Campus Event: Plant Parenthood. While the majority of students were extremely...

2019’s Top 10 (Out of a Possible 5) Frat Party Playlist Hits

The thoughts and opinions expressed in this article are not representative of the author’s music taste or the music taste of the Institute as...

Tale of 54-Year-Old WPI Janitor Grad to Hit the Big Screen

Sources are reporting that Boston natives Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are putting the finishing touches on the script for their upcoming film, “Better...

COVID Testing Proctors Replaced with Inflatable Tube Men

Citing budget cuts and a realization that it was the easiest job in the world, WPI has begun replacing covid test administrators with large...

Uptick in COVID Cases Results in “Gulag” Battles at Townhouses

Due to student body confusion surrounding the message of “don’t leave campus” over WPI’s abbreviated spring break, there has been an increase...

Second Semester CA Faces Existential Crisis

WORCESTER, MA - Current roommates reported earlier this week that local WPI student Ashley Stone has been grappling with the tough realization that she...

Move-In Day To Sweep Greek Life Under Giant Welcome Mat

As Move-In Day 2018 approaches, WPI is tidying up its campus image by rolling out an enormous red carpet – directly over its beloved...

More Helpful WPI Countdowns to Keep You on the Edge of Your Seat

Last week a helpful countdown was posted on myWPI which aims to keep students in total suspense for the next year and a quarter while campus...

Post-Cancún Blizzard Leaves Seniors “Literally Dying”

This past week, WPI seniors finally lived out their MTV-inspired spring breaks and returned to Worcester for their final D Term. However, rather than...